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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in book_muse's InsaneJournal:

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    Monday, April 30th, 2012
    2:41 pm
    I MIGHT HAVE A JOB!!!

    You will now return to your regularly scheduled RP.
    Sunday, April 22nd, 2012
    1:33 am
    Okay, so the long-term game I'm in is going to be over soon-ish and I'm starting to shop for something new. As much as I enjoyed the books I know I can't do Hunger Games RP and I haven't heard about much new other than HG related games, any suggestions, oh wise friends list?
    Saturday, April 21st, 2012
    11:38 am
    Stolen from [info]nentari


    Veritaserum

    noun
    a powerful truth serum that is most commonly used in interrogation

    Usually, this potion is kept carefully out of reach of students, but on this day a few potent drops made it into the pumpkin juice at breakfast or into the water supply if they're out of school. Today, you may ask my characters anything, and expect to hear only the truth.
    Wednesday, April 18th, 2012
    9:10 pm
    I have never attempted this meme but I think I can manage the small html involved now so here it goes:

    Give me one of my characters and one of yours and I will tell you- no matter how ridiculous the pairing- the following about their first child (if they are canonically a couple with children, I will make up an uncanon child.)
    A. Name
    B. House (if HP; Zodiac if not)
    C. Circumstances of Conception
    D. PB
    E. Three Random Facts
    Monday, April 9th, 2012
    1:58 pm
    I finally decided to dip my foot back into the educator pool.  I'd pretty much given up teaching when I couldn't get a full time position years ago but losing my job has allowed me what I've come to see as necessary reflection.  And one of the things I keep coming back to is that the teacher in me never really died, she was still working every day to instill a love of fiction it was just set on a different course.  I don't know that I'm prepared to be a full time classroom teacher at this point.  Especially knowing that I need time off to help with my grandmother sometimes but that's the nice thing about subbing, I can still teach and help around the house.  

    It's funny the weight that is lifted when you finally make a decision that feels really, really good.
    Tuesday, March 20th, 2012
    5:31 pm
    Isn't it amazing that a job interview makes things feel so much better?
    Sunday, March 18th, 2012
    2:55 pm
    I've been playing around with an idea for an actual novel for a while but I've discovered that my own personal dislike for conflict has made it incredibly difficult for me to come up with good conflict in a novel.  This is why I'll never be a "real" writer. :)
    Tuesday, March 13th, 2012
    12:00 am
    I've seen a couple of people posting theirs and I thought I'd take the quiz again even though I did it a while back. And oddly enough, I've changed.


    ( This is me now and then )
    Monday, March 12th, 2012
    11:35 pm
    Sunday, March 4th, 2012
    9:30 pm
    To celebrate the fact that I've actually answered the last couple of memes I've posted here's another one (stolen from several people)

    Highly Egocentric Interview Meme
    Comment with 1-5 questions on the following subjects:
    • To my characters [I will respond ICly as that character]
    • About my characters [I will respond OOC]
    • Generic RP/writing questions
    Wednesday, February 29th, 2012
    2:03 am
    Monday, February 20th, 2012
    7:04 pm
    Because I've been doing better with memes I'll do another one.  I've seen it in multiple places so I'll credit the world!

    Give me any two characters from a game I've played in, past or present, and I will tell you how much I ship them on a scale of meh to OTP.

    Saturday, February 18th, 2012
    6:25 pm
    Feeling a little nostalgia
    I was talking to Nat earlier about characters and somehow the conversation made me think of playing Jay back at Societies. Which reminded me of the following to comment spams that were two of my favorite in-game conversations ever. The combination of Jay, Paige, Ace and Gavin is still one of my all-time favorites.

    In which Jay congratulates the faculty Quidditch team for their win.

    In which     Jack the Space Monkey debuts.
    Wednesday, February 15th, 2012
    11:55 am

    A happy post Valentine's Day to everyone especially the lonely hearts such as myself who are just glad it's over. :D

    And to celebrate (and because I was totally not on the ball enough to post this yesterday):

    Reply to this and I will tell you what I love about you. 

    I figure that we could all use a little love. :) 

    Thursday, February 9th, 2012
    10:39 pm
    You don't realize how limited you really are until you start looking for a job in a city of 60,000.

    My whole life there's only been one thing that I've really loved. It's my passion and my joy and my comfort. I love to read. There's no way of making it sound more sophisticated than that because, facts are, I'm really not that sophisticated. Yes, I have any English degree and I've read everything that you expect to have come with said degree but I actually enjoyed very little of it.

    My joy comes with human interaction. Those moments between two people be they lovers friends or family where you can really see who they are and what motivates them. I can take or leave anything with literature or literary attached to it's catagorization but I'm a sucker for romances and fantasies and kids books because they are, in their very essence, all about human interaction.

    Because of my abiding love for books working in the bookstore was always a fit. Sure, the pay sucked. Sure, the hours were frequently crappy. And sure it wasn't a "real job" but even with all those things working there gave me an excuse to spend every day at work talking to people about books and I was good at it.

    But that's no longer an option. When my store closed the last bookstore left my community. I'm waiting to hear about a possible position at the library but as the days pass I'm feeling less and less confident of that particular option. And thus the job search begins. And I return to my original point, it's difficult to find work in a town of 60,000 if you aren't a nurse or a person who has experience working in a food factory. The school district has little interest for me since all my teacher friends say the superintendent is crazy. And I really don't want to do retail anymore.

    If I don't get the library job I'm really not sure where to look. I never learned proper interviewing skills and my resume is rather lacking. This is what happens when you've spent fifteen years in bookstores. It doesn't leave you with a terribly transferable skill set.
    Wednesday, February 1st, 2012
    11:09 pm
    I decided that tonight was a good night to prove (yet again) just how uncool I am. So, I'm following Nic's lead with the infamous lyrics meme. Heads up, this is the playlist of a person who is notoriously unhip in her tastes so you're not likely to see anything that cool.

    01) Set your music player to shuffle.
    02) Whatever song comes up, pick your favourite lines from the song.
    03) Do this with 15 25 songs and you'll have a list. (Skipping repeat artists / instrumental songs.)
    04) Post the list on your journal and let your f-list guess what song the lyrics come from. No Googling!


    Thursday, January 5th, 2012
    6:43 pm
    I don't have the best track record with memes (though I am getting better at answering them) but this one is too good to pass up.  So here it is:

    character questionnaire meme

    Comment with one of my characters (past or present) and I will tell you the following:
    1. What initially prompted me to like the character enough to write about him/her.
    2. One of his/her best traits.
    3. One of his/her worst traits.
    4. How easy/difficult I find it to write the character.
    5. The story/thread/chapter/post/paragraph/tag/phrase where I feel that I truly captured the character.
    6. My plans for the character in the near future.
    Thursday, December 1st, 2011
    11:53 pm
    For all those at [info]feintedmods I just realized that my icons of Willow kissing (yes, I'm weird I try to make sure to always have a kissing icon...anyway) they're all from Easy A so she's kissing Hamish.  This amuses me greatly.
    Thursday, November 24th, 2011
    2:30 am

    I feel sometimes like I dump too much here.  Like people think that I'm some kind of pessimist who thinks that their life is just terrible judging from what I post here when I post.  But my family is dealing with a lot of the outside stuff that's bothering me and wouldn't get the stuff that they aren't also dealing with.

    I feel sometimes like things will never be good again.  Between death, natural disasters and looming unemployment I feel like everything that could possibly get thrown at me has been in the last six months.  And that's not considering the lesser crappy things (brother leaving his wife, uncle dying and mom getting sick) that happened in the previous year.

    I should be grateful that I have a roof over my head and family members to support me.  But I don't feel grateful.  I feel desperate.  And sad.  And scared.  I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life when my job ends in January.  I have no idea where I can go.  I'm terrified that I'm going to spend the rest of my life working in retail and that I'll never have enough money to not have to save for weeks when I want to buy a DVD.  I want to be proud when I tell people what I do for a living instead of feeling ashamed.

    I should be happy that I have great friends in RP because I do.  There are any number of people I can count on and a few  who I not only know I can count on I know I can lean on as well.  And I am happy to have them, grateful even since I know how difficult I am to be around right now.  But instead I feel terrible every time I turn on my computer because I still don't really fit in.  I think that somewhere in my mind I always wanted RP to be what my real life hasn't been up to this point.  I wanted someplace where I fit in, where I got the jokes, where I was part of things.  And I do have friends, I do know some jokes but I guess that we never really leave middle school.  We all still want to be in the In Crowd no matter how old we get (and trust me I'm way too old to be worried about these things).

    I'm not writing this to get sympathy or pity.  I just needed to get this out.  To put into words the thing that keeps bringing me to tears.  I don't want to be this person anymore.  I don't want to feel hurt and scared about everything every time I turn around whether it's in real life or in RP.  And I'm trying not to be that person, but it's so hard. 

    Monday, November 21st, 2011
    11:51 pm
    I don't know how to be who I'm supposed to be.
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